


Seeing Eye to Eye

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Holly's Round Nine H/C Bingo Card [5]
Category: Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: The most frightening thing about it all might be the way Christine never stops looking over her shoulder for the rest of their lives.Raoul ruminates on the love of his life and the parts of her he can never understand.





	Seeing Eye to Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. Part of my Round Nine H/C Bingo Card. Pseudo flash fiction; apologies for the quality.

The most frightening thing about it all might be the way Christine never stops looking over her shoulder for the rest of their lives.

Raoul remembers the fear of that place, the threat of a noose around his neck and _your hand at the level of your eyes_ , but for him it is all overpowered by the memory that Christine is here, safe at his side. It's true that they rarely stray far from one another, rarely leave the other's side if they can help it, but that's no matter. Nothing to be concerned about, when they lost each other so young and then came so close to losing each other again. It is no matter when her hand in his is enough to have him relaxed and certain in their safety.

But for Christine, it never ends. She sees that place in her dreams, remembers his touch in the ghost of a breeze, and once, she tells him, can sometimes remember the smell of decay when they leave the house in the heat of summer. It pains him, and more than once he considers asking her to quiet her fears, to keep them private, but the thought of leaving her alone with the memory of that monster is too much, so he stills his tongue. Better that she tell him than hide the fear.

The fear seems to be unending. Christine looks over her shoulder every few minutes when they are out and about, always looking, always seeking, though she never seems to know what exactly it is that she seeks. Christine searches the eyes of every man they meet at parties, though even then she does not seem to know what she seeks. And at night, alone in the house, Christine searches his eyes, and only then does she seem to know what she seeks.

"Truly, it is only you, my love?" she asks.

"Truly."

And his words seem to soothe and allow her to sleep until morning when the fear returns anew.

It fades with the years, minutes between glances turning to hours, hours turning to days, and sometimes Raoul thinks she may be free of his curse. But they return always, and he watches with pain in his breast as she looks for a desperate man with a haunting voice that will never again be at her side. Raoul wonders often if he should ask why it is that she still seeks him, but his bravery is bested only by his fear that she will tell him she truly wishes to see him again. He does not think he could bear the pain.

So he stays at her side, and listens to her words, hearing the way she speaks with such reverence even so many years removed. He tries to understand the affection she feels, the nostalgia and ardent hope for his peace of mind. He tries, and he knows, beyond a doubt, that this is a part of her he can never have and never understand. And though it hurts, he knows too that she would not be his Christine without her kind heart, and he would never ask her to turn her mind from the memories that so plague her. For all that it pains him to bear witness, it would pain him more not to share in whatever she will share with him.

In this, at least, he can stand beside her, and that is all he has ever asked.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come hang with me on tumblr!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


End file.
